Lenni Reviews: Red Moon by Elizabeth Kelly

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 After the “Great War” has destroyed a good chunk of the world’s population, humans and supernaturals are trying to live alongside one another. One day Lycan Tristan Williams and his daughter Sophia are out shopping for some new slaves and she guilts him into purchasing Avery Hendrin and her sister. The rub here is that Avery is a Red: red hair and  has magical healing powers. People hate them because they’re witches, blah blah slave, blah blah fairies, what the hell ever.

If I sound disinterested it’s because this story is so blandly typical of a paranormal romance yet hardly believable as even with all the standard tropes; for the couple to be so attracted in less than a day when they have zero chemistry was ridiculous. As Avery is painted as this rebellious woman in one second then a sex crazed, submissive nymph the next. Yeah, I know you have less than 200 pages to get this couple together and work the “scared of magic people” angle but Avery has literally one line of token resistance (that smacks of the creepy “no means yes” vibe) then, BOOM! Panties are off!

Wait, were there panties? *checks* No… No, of course there weren’t.

It’s like this story wants to hit all the beats of a paranormal romance but can’t quite get them in the right order to make it believable or entertaining. Avery is the typical damsel, Tristan is the typical brooder with a secret but it gets super creepy when the concept of Avery’s healing ability working according to how intimate she is with the person she’s healing. Hey! Ever wanted to read a book where the male lead has to watch the woman he wants to bone make out and get felt up by his BROTHER because he’s wounded? Well, shit, here ya go!

I found that concept creepy and I gave up halfway through. Every character is such a flat caricature fulfilling their standard role in this genre, I was bored when I wasn’t squicked out. It was like watching bad porn where they try to shoehorn a plot in. If I wanted that, I’d go borrow Zombie Strippers again (UGH!!). I give this book a 1.5 because I got it for free from Barnes and Noble for my Nook. If I had spent money on this, I would have been really upset.