atthequillsmercy

WIP Wednesday: I’m back and muddling through…

Things have been hard. Even without the horrid cost of living, I have been struggling with even more repairs and replacements of things I need, like the oven, my car, or my washing machine. The stress of being so far in debt makes it really hard to be creative, but I try to get some words in every day. I’m even trying to manage my stress by getting back into running. I took a break for NYCC. I’m doing my best to celebrate the little wins, like my Finch app or my streak in Koala Quill.

I’m trying to pretend I have control over my life by trying out some more fun recipes and using ingredients to the fullest. I dunno, depression is really messing with my head and it’s a struggle most days. I’m not gonna do anything bad, I’m just doing my best to put one foot in front of the other each day. I hate the feeling that I have to constantly be hustling to scrape together just enough to make minimum payments on things. And this isn’t dry begging or even begging at all. I’m bitching. There’s a big difference.

I will have more content for my Patreon and a bunch of reviews I have in deck to go up. I have some more comics to sell on my shop and I’ll try and get more needlework finished at some point. I haven’t made much progress on that but I did get rid of some really gross old junk I dug up. Here and there, progress is being made in some capacity.

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WIP Wednesday! Patreon Update for Emma!

I was on the fence as to not only what to post to Patreon this week, but how much of it. This chapter seemed short to me so I thought I’d double it up with the next one. The two of them together were too long, though. I just went with what I had. Remember with whatever stories I post on there, the first part is free. The rest are the $1 tier.

Other than that, I will freely admit my word counts are not the best. Not even sure they’re even worth listing but I’m sure some people will wanna know:

  • A: 20,814
  • B: 1,757 (published a different book under this pen name, then moved on to the story in this slot)
  • C: 20,238
  • Manos: 3,662
  • Antichrist BF: 4,433

See? Not all that impressive when it comes to pure words added. A lot of this was a big push for a smutty book and editing stuff for Patreon. I looked back at the exact dates I started Emma and Dewey and after a delightful existential crisis, I am going to do my level best to finish at least one of those before the end of the year. I do like to take a break from smut and work on what I really love to do: dark fantasy. There’s just an itch in my brain that’s scratched when I’m deep into those. Then I feel guilty when I look at my debt and go back to working on what will make a quick buck. I wanna indulge in my angsty vampires and werewolves, goshdernit!

Anyhooooo, I have to pretend I’m not a complete horrid slag of a human being and prepare for being in full cosplay for 4 days in a row at NYCC while attending a bunch of professional panels in heals that hate my feet. Yay for me? This is gonna be interesting since my feet hurt from trying to break these heels in. Maybe since I’m not completely repulsed by how I look in my janky closet cosplay, I’ll possibly post some pictures if there’s any good ones. My son picked Full Metal Alchemist for the theme this year. You’ll just have to guess who’s who!

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Today’s Workout: Save the dog!

I debated on titling this entry “send in the clown” but – spoiler? – the clown isn’t a major player in most of this episode. However, these aren’t reviews of the episodes (even though they’re great); it’s about Lenni’s Legs. Which, surprisingly, not only made it through this workout, but they didn’t feel like they’d been through a cheese grater. And I didn’t feel the need to crawl into bed after the runner’s high wore off. Maybe I can actually keep this up? I still want to make sure these intervals are easy for me before I try the longer ones. The next week sessions are 15 minute intervals, not 10. Any other runners out there will tell you, those 5 minutes are a BIG difference. There are two sure fire ways to feel every second of time passing: when you’re waiting for the microwave to finish, and when you’re running an interval. I am trying to maintain my form and use my thighs more instead of my calves. Not to be completely gross but if you’ve ever seen My 600lb Life, when they start to lose weight, skin/fat hangs oddly. That’s what’s happening to my inner thighs and I hate it. I’m hoping that I can fill out my thigh muscles like my calves to offset whatever the fuck is going on.

I’m sure some auditors will say that muffins aren’t healthy and probably not. But, I love trying seasonal items and these were okay. Kinda worth the calories. I like the Trader Joe’s pumpkin muffin mix better; especially when you dump some dark chocolate chips in before baking. But my oven is broken… I am sincerely hoping I sell enough books to get out of debt and get it either fixed or replaced before baking season really kicks into gear. As for dinner, I’m working on clearing out the freezer. I had a random skirt steak, so I decided on steak and eggs to replenish my protein. And because it’s delicious.

And I gave the rest of those muffins to my son. He loves them, apparently.

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WIP Wednesday: Kitchen Sink and Patreon Update!

I’ve been behind, so this update is a bit of everything:

I figured that doing these long runs back to back may feel like something that productive but will likely not be effective. So, I took a break and had a nice walk to break things up. These runs are getting easier and I don’t wanna fuck it up by overdoing it and hurting myself. Also, I feel WIPED after those long runs. My body hits a wall around 4-6PM and all I wanna do is sleep. I’m taking that as a sign my body needs the recovery.

There are different tomatoes growing in my hard now! No clue how but I’m not about to question free food in this economy. And it’s just nice to pick things out of the yard and put them in a nice salad. But sometimes, salad doesn’t cut it. It’s fall, I feel the cooler weather, and out comes the slow cooker! That chili is ground beef and elk with some delicious chips as a side. Sometimes you eat something and it just heals your soul. I have a good sized batch of this, so it’ll be on repeat and I’ll freeze some for days when I need something quick.

As for writing, I released another erotica short under the other penname and updated my Patreon with the start of the “There, I Fixed It” series! It’ll have it’s own category on there and once it’s complete, I think I’ll offer it for free on my blog. I did do some lazy Googling about the copyright and the stupid AI that won’t let me turn it off said that what I’m doing is original enough to probably not get sued, but I’d rather not risk it by charging for it. Putting it for free will give anyone interested a chance to have the entire thing in one go rather than go through the Patreon posts once it’s finished. Or maybe, if I can figure out how it works, I’ll do an optional tip deal through Buy Me A Coffee or something. I would like to finish it, run through some editing, then release it in one go. As far as I’m concerned, the Patreon posts are clean drafts but not final drafts, if that makes any sense. But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. I should actually finish something instead of starting something new before I start pondering how I’m going to deal with the finished product. Hopefully, I can blast through my word goals over the next couple days.

 

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Workout Catch Up: They make me eepy…

While these longer runs are getting easier, they make me so sleepy. I opted to repeat week one in Just Run to make sure I can get through the intervals without a break and yes, it’s working. But if I do these runs first thing in the morning, I crash before the end of the day. By the time I have to cook dinner, my eyes are at half mast. I did a run on Saturday, fully intending to run again on Sunday before I went to work, but I slept through my alarm because my body went “Nah, you’re resting. End of discussion.” Maybe running daily will help my screwed up sleep schedule…

Since I’ve been working so hard, I’ve been stressing protein in my meals. That’s a chicken Caesar wrap and a bison burger with homemade fries. My son wanted to try one and I figured it’d be a nice new experience for him and a treat for me. Other than that, it’s been the usual stuff or very small snacks. I have extra time this week, clearly. If I ever learn to roll a wrap properly, I’ll probably be eating those all the time but that was a pick up order. It’s heading into crockpot season and I can’t wait to start making chili and stew again. All in all, I’m sure earlier on in the day, I had something super profound to say but now my brain is mush and I need to be in bed. Tomorrow I’d like to post the first “There I Fixed It” part to my Patreon and for that, I need my two brain cells to be on the same page.

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Workout Dump: New Missions!

I needed a break from running for almost an hour on Sunday, so I did some walking and the Wirk peddler up till today. It was still rough going, but I was able to hold my pace well. My form, not so much. I need to work on that. And I got the chance to get into the new missions on Zombies Run! It still sucks that the original Abel is gone… But as for my actual fitness, these long runs are a bitch to be motivated to do. Once I get on the treadmill, it’s fine. It also gives me a chance to catch up on my very long list of things I wanna watch.

Sadly, the Hello Kitty collab is done, so now I go back to not even thinking of McDonald’s as an option for food. But I seem to be all about the sandwiches lately. If I ever save up enough money for a new oven, I’ll be baking my own bread instead of buying it. I love to play around with flavors, and it’s cheaper! Win-win! Not that I should be having a lot of carbs anyway. I’m not the type of person to demonize carbs, but I do need to keep them under control if I want to lose more weight. Making more things at home puts more control in my hands. I can literally make half a loaf or a couple of buns instead of buying expensive bread from the store and feeling pressured to use it all up before it grows fur. And even though I’m tired after work and overtime and all my side stuff, I do enjoy baking! I make little gift bags of Pagan cookies for the Solstice for my friends and everyone at work nearly every year. I think I’m doing pretty good overall. It’s been a long week.

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WIP Wednesday: I need some advice. What sounds better?

(Image Source)

I’ve been flying through my ARCs and working out longer these days, and that may have impacted my numbers a bit. There’s also the fact that I’ve split myself into two additional projects. However, I am LOVING working on those projects. I take that as a win! Plus, I have some time off coming up where I can take a whole day to just work on one project and make some real progress. I’ll be trying for more blog posts, too. I have a nice pile of reviews all finished and plenty of books that need reading. Writing will come first, of course. But I guess it’s the numbers for today that matter, right? And these are in progress numbers. I have more writing to do tonight:

  • A: 20,814 (to be honest, I’m stuck with this one)
  • B: 1,944
  • C: 19,921 (kinda stuck on this one, too. This always happens when I hit a big action set piece)
  • Manos: 1,956
  • Antichrist BF: 4,433

Since I’ve been so inspired with the Manos “fix,” I have wondered how I should go about posting it. It will be kinda long for one Patreon post. I’m trying to hit most of the beats for the movie so, I was thinking maybe posting it in parts on Patreon, then posting it in my ebook shop here for free if someone wants the whole chunk at once. Which one would you be more likely to read? I’m guessing it’ll be easier on the eyes to break it up into parts… We’ll see. I have to get more words in before I get some sleep. I have a long run in the morning.

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Workout Dump: The Final Push

As you can see from the workout lengths, I jumped to the longer runs yesterday. I know runs like that are not a good idea to do daily, so today was a nice, easy session on the Wirk peddler and some much-needed stretches. And I’m gonna miss this series of Zombies Run missions. I love the characters, and I hope they revisit this series one day. But I have the new missions to get through! I’ll start those tomorrow. I’ll have to build my way back up to where I was in 2020 during lockdown when I had all the time in the world at home.

While it’s probably not for the best that I keep getting McD’s kid’s meals for the toys, I like to think I’m doing pretty ok with my other meals. Those pork dumplings are 200-ish calories for 5, the sandwiches have protein from lemon chicken or roast beef, and that pasta dish was loaded with spinach and ground beef. Safe ground beef, since I live in the US. I’m also enjoying the lemon pepper wings. Shoutout to my air fryer for saving me some calories. And you can also see where I am working my way through those random tomato plants. They’ve been pretty fruitful! I’ve been getting so many of them that I’ve been eating those Caesar salads more. AAAANNNNNND, I’m trying to vairy my lunches. While I adore the beef or chicken with a veggie, sometimes it’s nice to change it up. Once the McD’s collab is over, I can go back to going years without going there again. Thank goodness I can enjoy the smaller portions because I’m not really that into fast food anymore anyway.

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WIP Wednesday: I started another one!

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Okay, I didn’t NEED to start the “There, I Fixed It” stuff right away, but when inspiration strikes, you take it. I’m probably stretching myself too thin, but fine. I’m going for it. The first movie I picked to “fix” is Manos: The Hands of Fate. This movie is often cited as one of the worst movies ever made. However, the idea of travelers happening upon a scary cult is a classic, and I think it’d be fun to write this! I’m going to try to keep as many of the character names the same as the movie, but not necessarily all the scenes. There’s this overly long makeout scene and this random-ass couple of ladies at the end. If I can’t naturally fit them in, I’m cutting that out.

Should I add another project that will keep me from finishing the stuff I have and publishing it? Probably not. Yes, I need the money; yes, I need to produce to make that money, and I should treat this like a job, but I also write because I love it. And I want to keep loving it. When it’s complete, I’ll put it up on my Patreon for free. These will always be free since they’re mostly just for fun, and I’m not smart enough to grapple with the copyright issues that come with doing this. Better not to take the chance of getting sued. I guess this would fall under “transformative,” though. Whatever, we’re not here for that. We’re here for the word counts:

  • A: 20,814
  • B: 740
  • C: 19,862
  • Antichrist BF: 4,433
  • There I Fixed It: 775

The one good thing about having the extra projects in my Google Docs is that I can pull out my phone whenever I feel like it and get in a few more words here and there. I’m also posting some previews over on my BlueSky as teasers. They will probably have typos, so be gentle.

This also does mean that the longer projects will not have much of a dramatic increase but I am putting my foot down and not starting anything else. I am already teetering on the edge of burnout and trying to push through it until the inevitable day where I accidentally sleep through my alarm and sleep for 12 hours. Again.

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Workout Dump: Doubling up

It’s probably not the best idea to do the desk peddler and a run on the same day, but I feel like if I have the energy, I should take advantage of it. I don’t do that every day, though. I’m sure it’s terrible for my joints to do so, and some random professional will come across my little blog and scold me, especially as I go through menopause. But a calorie burnt is a calorie burnt, and I’ll take it.

Yes, I was bad and made another trip to McDonald’s to see what toy I could get, and I was not disappointed. I should probably stop now, but I really want the Cinnamoroll x Destoroyah toy. It’s dumb, I know, but the little gremlins make me happy. Other than that, my usual Itaki meal is making the rounds, and the price of lettuce is surprisingly going down, giving me more chances to have a nice salad. I did pick bacon as a protein, and I am aware that’s not the healthiest choice. I just need a break from tuna sometimes. I still have to chill out with the salt, which I tend to go ham on when I’m stressed out or on my period. That’s always been a struggle but I’m doing better.

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