horror novel

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Lenni Reviews Challenge Edition: “The Slob” by Aron Beauregard

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*This book is recommended for mature readers. Trigger warning for murder, gore, and rape.

While Vera grew up in a hoarder’s house with her parents and mentally unwell sister, she now lives with her disabled veteran husband, Daniel. With a baby on the way, Vera decides to become a door-to-door vacuum salesperson for some extra cash until she knocks on the door to the wrong house.

I understand this was meant to be extreme, and it succeeds in that the descriptions of the Slob and his home are gross and the sexual violence is disgusting, but this felt try-hard. I couldn’t get into it like I could with Playground or Tender is the Flesh. It’s as if there was a checklist of “Gross Stuff” and every other sentence was about ticking a box off. There’s even this random bit about some gay guys who kill people, as if the checklist included “People We Need to Offend” and overall, I feel cheated that I didn’t feel what I think the book was trying to get me to feel. I do have to say, Vera is a great character. I’m not sure if I’m becoming desensitized to all this, but in the end, it was a giant “Meh.” 1 out of 5.

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Lenni Reviews – Challenge Edition: “Cows” by Matthew Stokoe

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*Trigger warnings for gore, sexual assault (of people and animals), and fecal eating, animal death, child death.

25-year-old Steve lives in poverty with his mother, who he affectionately calls The Hagbeast, and his dog named Dog. With dreams of a life like the shows he sees on TV, he starts a new job at a slaughterhouse where he quickly discovers it’s no ordinary place to work.

What is with these “extreme” books and poop-eating? And describing lady parts as smelling like fish? Is it a trope to just go for the easiest gross-out content (I can’t really say “humor” because it’s not funny) because I think the gore and animal fucking were plenty to accomplish that. There are obvious themes about the cycle of abuse and institutionalized abuse because I got the feeling in the slaughterhouse scenes that it was expected to do such out of pocket things to your coworkers and the cows while on the job. It’s normal to the men in the slaughterhouse to drill holes into a living cow and use it as a disgusting Flesh Light but Steve has to be initiated; taught that this is a normal thing.  Also, ew. Overall, this is not about Steve triumphing over this cycle. It’s a gross book with a depressing ending that didn’t even give me the feeling of horrid beauty that Tender is the Flesh did. Is it silly to expect more than just over-the-top gross stuff and have more meat (no pun intended) to these types of books? 2 out of 5.

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Lenni Reviews Challenge Edition: “Playground” by Aron Beauregard

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*This book contains VERY adult themes. It is not for children or the faint of heart.

Geraldine Borden offers the chance of a lifetime for three low-income families to test out her state-of-the-art playground equipment in exchange for a substantial payout. Little do the parents know that these new devices are deadly, putting their children in grave danger.

Trigger warning for… Everything.

You ready? Yeah, no you’re not.

Okay… I had to sit on this review for a while to ponder where I am considering this book. I was prepared for the gore and the dead children. The plot and cover give those away. Yes, being a parent did have me getting angrier than perhaps a non-parent would be (especially since some of these parents fucking suck). However, I was NOT prepared for the disgusting sexual content (rape, incest, uncleanliness) and shit eating. To say Geraldine is disgusting is an offensive understatement. Brace yourself cause I’m gonna spoil this so, skip the rest of this paragraph if you want to avoid it… Not only did Geraldine harbor incestuous feelings for her own mother (who seemed to be a perfectly normal person), she acts on these desires by masturbating with her mother’s feces and is responsible for her mother’s death because when her mother was on her death bed, Geraldine sat on her face and rode it until her mother smothered to death. The book also goes into great detail about how Geraldine does not believe in properly cleaning her privates or her sex toys and that it’s so disgusting; Rock (her unfortunate adopted son – an adult at the time of this book) is so disgusted by what he is force to do to her, he uses his own bile as lubricant. I gotta give it to the writing because I had to hold back from gagging and desperately needed to take a shower.

Ya’ll still with me? Need a breather? I did when I read this. Geraldine is hypersexual and later on in the book when her attention is on the children, I actually prayed to go away from any further sexual scenes with her and back to the child murder. She has a Nazi scientist, Fuchs, as her assistant and I kinda found that to be cliche. That’s a common trope in horror: death/torture machines made by a Nazi to bring to mind the actual atrocities committed. It makes sense in that of course Geraldine would have a Nazi in her back pocket but still.

The descriptions of what physically happens to the children are properly harrowing. It gives a very Squid Game vibe with how the group either stays together, falls apart, or brings the best/worst out in each other. The kid’s personalities are so well done! You get to know them and they – as well as their parents – all are written well enough that I was very much invested. So, after all that, all the horrid blood gore and wishing I could bleach not only Geraldine’s physical descriptions out of my head but powerwash her body as well, this book as the fucking gall to end on this tragically beautiful note. Or perhaps it rewards me after putting me through that rank ass snatch. So, where do I stand with this? I mean, I got what I came for: extreme literature. I can’t give the book a low rating for that, especially if it’s written well enough that it makes me react so vicerally. I was rooting for the kids, I got attached to them and the parents that weren’t awful, and again, that ending…

I am going to give this a biased 2.3 out of 5 because how dare this book make my bisexual ass hate vagina by being so disgusting, I’d rather read about children being mauled.

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Lenni Reviews – Challenge Edition: “Tender Is the Flesh” by Agustina Bazterrica & Sarah Moses (Translator)

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If you’ve been on my blog for awhile, I do movie reviews on occasion and have a side thing of “Challenge Edition” where I watch extreme movies. Now that I know extreme books are a thing you know I have to do that, too.

This book is a dystopian world where a virus has rendered all animal meat inedible. A worldwide campaign is launched to acclimate everyone to accept eating humans instead; classifying them as “head” that as strictly regulated. Marcos runs a slaughterhouse and in addition to his wife leaving him and his elderly father losing his battle with dementia in a nursing home, he struggles with the realities of what he does for a living.

I totally get the allegory; treading a certain class like cattle, the mental gymnastics to justify this, the tole it takes on people to eat people, Marcos desperately trying to hold on to his sanity in a world where humans are just buying time before they end up on a plate, cruelty is normalized, and everything is permeated with an undercurrent of fear. The writing is great and that ending? Woof… But my suspension of disbelief was tested. Because I’m a writer, librarian, and general nerd; I know the little factoid that cannibalism in humans causes diseases and is not a viable replacement for traditional meat. I had to keep pushing that aside and plow on but it was worth it. It’s depressing because, not too spoilery but damnit Marcos:

This book is good, I loved the prose. And the graphic descriptions of the slaughter of humans for consumption will turn your stomach if you’re sensitive. But if you’re in the mood, this is a great book. 3.5 out of 5.

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Lenni Reviews: “The Scarlet Gospels”(Hellraiser #2) by Clive Barker

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After reading Hellbound Heart, I made sure to get my hands on the sequel. This stars Detective Harry D’Amour, who has devoted himself to the supernatural after an encounter that killed his partner. As Pinhead makes some major moves leaving a trail of death, Harry and other mystically inclined friends move to stop him.

Okay… I kinda liked this book. It functions really well on it’s own. My problem with it is that it’s a sequel to a book that barely featured Pinhead. I’m left with a feeling that the movie’s popularity impacted this story; because the main Cenobite in the first was female and there’s hardly a mention of her here. 

In viewing this book as a better sequel to the movies (anything after Hellraiser 2 is not worth watching, in my opinion), it’s a worthy addition to the universe. It’s really dark, the stakes are high, and it’s just brutal – as to be expected of anything Hellraiser.  It was just strange reading these back to back and not feeling the connection from one to the next. I liked it but this is clearly riding on Pinhead’s popularity. 3.4 out of 5.

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Lenni Reviews: “The Hellbound Heart” by Clive Barker

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Once I hear some media I enjoy is based on a book, I almost always add it to my To Be Read list. This book pretty much follows the movie, Frank is bored with life and seeking ultimate pleasure so he uses the puzzle box to summon the Cenobites. What’s different is Pinhead isn’t the “lead” cenobite. The book has a female as the leader.

But I’m glad I read it. It was cool to see the origins of such iconic characters. Despite already knowing the story beats because I’ve seen the movies a bajillion times, I found the book riveting and I can’t wait to read the next one.  4.7 out of 5.

 

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Lenni Reviews: “It” by Stephen King

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“Hey, Lenni? You’ve been kinda quiet with the reviews lately. What’s the deal?”

I PUT EVERYTHING ON HOLD TO READ THIS SO I COULD FINALLY WATCH THE MOVIE.

As I was reading this over 1000 page epic, I was almost tempted to do a read-along like I did with Battle Royale but by the time I thought of doing that, I was WAAAYYY too far into the book to pull that off without seeming fake as hell. I do try to avoid BS in this blog. My gut reactions would seem forced and too knowing as I would have been way ahead by the time I wrote up a review.

And who wants spoilers anyway!

What can I say about King? I’ve been reading his books since middle school (I was about 14-15 when I finally outgrew R. L. Stine and Christopher Pike) and Ma was always cool with me reading whatever I thought I could handle (and I wasn’t shy about passing up something I felt I couldn’t handle at that age). I’ve been a fan for over 20 years, I’m still working through his EXTENSIVE biography and he is a man I greatly respect as a person and as a writer. As a comparative novice (who am I even kidding with that statement…) it hardly seems as if I’m in a place to remark on anything he writes. This author is on a short list of people who I would read the phone book if they wrote it simply because they are THAT awesome.

That being said? I have some gripes.

  • Ben is fat. I get it. We don’t need to know every time his stomach, ass, chins or whatever bubble over everything. I have enough body issues and I was a fat teen (and fat adult). I don’t need reminders of how shitty my ass would look on a bicycle seat.
  • I haven’t seen Django Unchained or Hateful Eight and I understand the time period but jeepers, the flagrant use of the N-Word. Context, yes. I totally get it. But having been the target of that word, it’s rage inducing; which takes me out of the narrative until I calm down. It’s so heavy with meaning and emotion it takes me out of the story for a minute before I dive back in, which brings me to:
  • I want to kick the shit out of these bullies and I hate them. On second thought, if the writing is strong enough to elicit an emotional response, I withdraw that criticism.

Note: Anyone want me to do a read-along of any other books? I’d gladly do another King book of you guys are game.

In the meantime, I have so… SO many review copies I owe that are WAAAYY overdue. And for that, I can only apologize and overtly blame Stephen King. Tell him to write shittier books. That way I can blast through them faster and write long, funny, rage-filled reviews for you guys.

Or tell him to write even longer books so I shut up for a few weeks. Either way, I’ll be moving on a faster clip from now on.

Maybe I’ll talk about the movie in a post too.

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