What… A… Day…

Today was not easy. I went with Mom to the pulmonologist and he decreed her eligible for the oxygen machine… That we already had delivered. 9_9 And because Mom had the doctor’s appointment, she didn’t take her shingles meds in the morning, leaving her in pain. I dunno which would have been worse: nausea and dizziness from the meds (I would have driven the car) or the pain? But hey, she made the call, for better or worse.

We have a follow-up with him in two weeks.

But getting home was a nightmare. I could see tears in her eyes from the pain. It was just unreal… By the time I got her home, medicated, and laying down, I was in tears myself. It took the rest of the day for me to just calm down and try and get some work done. It really is the shingles messing with her. When Mom takes the medication, she’s… Is "fine" really the word to use for slightly less excruciating nerve pain?

On the plus side, I got a positive response to my query! I’m making the changes the editor asked for and will resubmit the short story to her by Friday.

Tomorrow is not only my daughter’s birthday, but also the Summer Solstice. 🙂 I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do anything fancy but I did leave out an apple as an offering today. Better to strike while the iron is hot, right? I did spot a statue that would be perfect for an outside altar (till I can afford the one I really want) but I will be totally honest, I do NOT have my head together to plan much beyond "Edit story. Child needs birthday cake." So you’ll have to forgive the lack of interaction from me. If you can, I’m sure the gods will.

I do feel my duty as a daughter could have been done better. I really froze. I need to be slightly less of a complete spaz and get my shit together. >_< Mom needs my help and since I never would have made it this car without her, she deserves my best.

Writing in times of crisis: A bit of instrospection

Ma has been in the hospital since Wednesday and with her having lung cancer and all, I always wonder if this time will be the time she goes in and never comes out. But it isn’t this time. Ma’s being treated for shingles and will be home in a couple days. Not fit as a fiddle but fit enough.

It’s during times like this where I try to meet my writing goals but I tend to fall short. I am filled with guilt about focusing on anything else but my Mother getting better and also for not giving my writing the focus it deserves. But through all this, I noticed that writing helped me keep my head together during down time where I would otherwise be panicking. I’m the type to handle a crisis while its happening then break down after (or when there’s really nothing more I can do).

Writing really helped me keep from curling up in a ball and crying or screaming at people for no reason other than they continue to breathe near me. So now I know in the future, I shouldn’t feel guilty for writing if something has gone bad or if I can’t reach the magical 5 page mark. If the treadmill and weights keep my body strong, writing keeps my spirit strong. I’ll need both to support my family through though times.

Now, since things are better, I promise I will get back to talking about anime and making dick, fart, and boob jokes now. XD