Like many spiritual people, I try to see my faith as something I live, not something I do. I frequently question if I’m Pagan enough because I don’t go to many functions, I barely have time for proper rituals, I forget when the holidays are, and I can never remember correspondences off the top of my head. I always have to look them up.
So, if the proof is in the practice, what makes me a Pagan?
When I stargaze, I believe I am practicing. When I teach my little girl respect for the earth, I believe I am practicing. When I sit and take a breath, admiring how the air smells like grass and flowers, I believe I am practicing. It’s in these moments where we can all stop wondering if we’re Pagan enough and just enjoy the world.
If you follow me on Twitter, you are aware I’ve been fighting off some sort of contagion my child was kind enough to share with me. As a result, I haven’t done as much blogging or writing as I would have hoped so yeah, you all are stuck without a Fiction Friday entry again this week. This must be horrible news to all 15 of you who read this blog. XD
However, in the mental restructuring I so often do to keep my crazy ass out of the loony bin, I have been bitten by my muse and my hand just itches to write.
I have also been threatened with bodily harm if I don’t finish editing Greenhouse and start putting it up. I better get on that then, eh?
I am frequently asked “When are you gonna have another one?” when I am seen walking with my 5 year old daughter. Do I want one? Want is a strong word. Do I feel the biological pull of my uterus to create more offspring? Yes. But after this weekend when I took a road trip with my kid and my 8 year old niece to visit my mother in law in Pennsylvania, I was reminded why one can be more than enough.
I adore my niece but when the two of them get together, EVERYTHING is a pissing contest. And I see it with the other families around me as well. I can’t imagine throwing 2 or MORE kids in the back seat to spent 6 hours driving, keeping them all entertained (we don’t have a DVD player in the car so books, books, and more books), fed, and clean for the duration of the trip. For me, it’s hard enough with just the one!
Now I understand why I’m an only child. XD
This is not to say if I found myself suddenly pregnant again, I wouldn’t keep it, but in a perfect world, one is good. I still have so much I want to do with my own life that I can’t imagine putting it off any longer. Best to be happy with the one healthy, happy kid I’ve got. 🙂
Today, I was able to get my boss to spring for the professional pass for NYCC. If all goes well, me and Misfit Librarian will be going. But here’s the rub:
This year, you have to apply and we find out in 21 days IF we get to go.
To the person(s) who somehow gamed the system to score 4 day passes on the cheap, thanks for making the process harder for us. You suck. T_T
Other than that, I am excited to go. I toy with the idea of dressing up as Poison Ivy or my usual “Gonna have to carry a bunch of crap” uniform of jeans and an obnoxious t-shirt. Depends on what I feel like doing. :p
This weekend was just me and the kiddo. It was kinda surreal to be honest. o_o The Hubbz went to visit his mother out of state to see how she’s doing. The news on that front is she’s dong as well as she can with stage 3 lung cancer. We’ll be going to see her all together next weekend.
But, yes; an entire weekend alone with my kid was strange. But I learned some things:
1. Dominos online ordering? You are faster than I thought and thank you for saving my ass on the Friday night I worked late and forgot to defrost anything.
2. Kiddo loves cucumber rolls. Very awesome. XD
3. Not having a car was a pain but saved my ass because since regular errands took so long, me and kiddo had quality time during the walks.
Addendum to #3? Lugging 3 cases of bottled water in a shopping cart is a pain in the ass… =_=
4. One kid is enough to entertain. My decision to stop at one (if I can help it) was very, very wise.
But it was cool hanging out with just me and the munchkin. I got no writing done but still; a lot of fun. 😉
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I am lucky for what I have. Even though I got rejected for that anthology, I am grateful to have plenty of other places to use it and the chance to edit it the way I want it.
I am grateful for my vacation and to be back with my family. I am grateful for my life and everything in it that makes me smile for even the barest second. Because life’s too short to be all frowny all the time. 🙂
Since I’m a Long Island gal, I’m checking in to let all my peepz know I’m alive. We lost power early Sunday morning and were back up Monday afternoon. Since the flooding was bad all over the East coast, my vacation is cancelled, to be rescheduled for another date.