Finally Watched It – Challenge Edition: The Woman (2011)

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Every so often in my travels on the internet, I’ll find a list of most disturbing movies that people can’t sit through and I take that as a challenge. I remember way back when I watched “The Human Centipede” because “ZOMG, so shocking!!!11!!” and found it to be a lame poop joke that went on too long and I got bored. Even with “Canibal Holocaust” I thought it was gory and all but hardly ‘walk out of the theater’ offensive and gross. In fact, the only movie to outright disgust me and piss me off was “A Serbian Film” so these walk out of the theatre movies are 2:1 at this point. So, where does this movie stack up?

While there are of course unpleasant things that happen in the movie – like the father is horrible and does what a horrible man would do to a woman he has captive – I didn’t find it hard to watch or super offensive. It was effective at being a horror movie and keeping the tone consistent throughout. The effects were done well, the story was interesting… But I never felt like I needed to take a shower or tap out of the movie early.

To sum up, I don’t get why this was on a most disturbing list unless their bar is much lower than mine.

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Finally Watched It: “Hellbound: Hellraiser 2”

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The first Hellraiser was one of my favorite horror movies growing up but I had never really taken notice of the sequels. Either I just assumed they would be terrible or it just passed me by but I finally decided to take a look at the sequel.

To start off I love how this is a DIRECT sequel with a recap in the beginning. It gave just enough backstory to make you excited to see what’s coming next. While I did enjoy this movie overall, there’s something off; like they’re trying so hard to be the first movie but coming off a bit sloppy in the execution. But I gotta give it credit. It’s scary, unique, and Tiffany is a true MVP. We hear about Pinhead all the time but we don’t hear much about how badass Tiffany – as well as Kirsty – is in terms of horror movie female leads.

Eventually, I’ll check out the rest of the series but I hear they get pretty bad after 2. We’ll see.

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Finally Watched it: “Rick and Morty” Season One.

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Yes, I have finally caved into peer-pressure and plunked my ass down to watch this show. It was also a sobering thought that my daughter has already seen this (gosh, thanks Internet), so I wasn’t about to allow myself to remain ignorant of this.

And well… I get why people like it. I had some laughs and felt entertained but I’m still left with the feeling that I didn’t so much ENJOY it if that makes any sense. And if you’ve read my blog over time, you know it’s not because I’m easily offended by raunchy, crass, or bloody media. Hell, there are things I like because they push me outside my comfort zone. I like the dimension-hopping allowing for infinite plot possibilities but after some thought, it was just how casual the death was that got to me. Not much, but it did. It’s a similar reason to why I dropped Game of Thrones; it’s hard to care if anyone can just get killed whenever. It felt senseless and left me wondering why I should keep going if I can’t see a story arc come to fruition.

It’s also hard for me to relate to any of the characters. Maybe the mom a little bit but I will freely admit I am more of a Grunkle Stan than a Rick. I absolutely understand his attitude: when you have literally been everywhere and done everything, regular finite concerns don’t exist. It’s all white noise.

And there is where I keep watching. What does a man who has been everywhere and done everything have to motivate him for four seasons of this show? I guess we’ll see because that’s the question I want to be answered. Time to take a deep breath and dive into Season 2.

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Finally Watched It: “Hail Satan?” (2019)

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In this documentary, The Satanic Church goes toe to toe with various government boards in order to promote Satanism as a counterpoint to religion seeping into politics.

This doesn’t play about with the hypocrisy of religion in politics when a minority religion seeks to be represented. Every time the Satanic Church said “Hey, we’d love to put up our monument too!” in every case, the choice was made to not display anything.

But if you’re expecting something that’s all gung ho against religion, you won’t find it here. This is surprisingly fair-minded; even when the Satanists had to wear fucking bulletproof vests to protect themselves in public due to death threats. It makes me wonder they don’t have the support of other minority religions but that wasn’t the point of the documentary. I’d recommend this if you’re interested in contemporary politics.

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Finally Watched It: “Tower”

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Using a combination of rotoscope animation, real testimony, and historical footage, this documentary goes into harrowing detail about the day a gunman opened fire from a clocktower on the University of Texas campus on August 1st, 1966.

I don’t pretend to be a hard ass so I have no problem admitting I openly wept several times during this film. The parts that are reenactment are so well done, you would hardly know it wasn’t as real as the life video spliced into it. The narrative centers on Claire Wilson, who was 8 months pregnant when she was shot and the continuing barrage made it so nobody could get to her and she lay in the hot Texas sun for hours unable to move. We hear also about a child who was injured, a woman who did only watch from inside, the police officers who finally killed the shooter along with help from a civilian. This even ends with interviews from actual survivors.

Even how the news was relayed around town and summed up afterwards was just brilliant. Even though even to my 80’s baby mind, it was frustrating to see communication break down so quickly as opposed to now when every one has a phone in their pocket. Absolutely amazing. I highly recommend it.

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The Return of Finally Watched It: “The Public”

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When I heard there was a movie about librarians coming out, you KNOW I had to get my hands on it as soon as possible. But the only places it was playing on the big screen were too far away and it took forEVER for the film to get a distributor. But we finally managed to get a copy on DVD and I sat down to watch it with my kid.

As far as depictions of our jobs go, this is pretty spot on. We get our fair share of strange questions, drunks, homeless people, and yes, even the naked ones. I will give this movie all the praise in the world for the acting as well; all very awesome.

However, the way it ended was very Hollywood. I cannot imagine a sit-in by the homeless and mentally ill resulting in the police raiding the building assuming the librarian is crazy and holding people hostage would end with singing in the real world. But I’d much rather that ending because reality is horrible enough.

I completely got how this movie portrayed the media and politicians twisting information before it reaches viewers and this is sadly also very true. Happens all the time. Overall, I thought this was amazing and I can’t wait to watch it again.

MAKE SOME NOISE!

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Finally Watched It: “House” (1977)

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Having seen this movie mentioned dozens of times on crazy movie lists, I finally had the chance to check it out.

We have our set up of a bunch of high school girls (I have nicknamed them The Sailor Scouts) all go to this old woman’s house and of course, shenanigans ensue. Typical right? Hoooooo boy, ladies and gentlemen, this movie I have to come right out and say is either the scariest funny movie I’ve seen or the funniest scary movie I’ve ever seen. Everything feels otherworldly and off kilter even when things are “normal.”

When it starts, all the main characters are so damn happy and go lucky all you can think is “well, hey there, Cannon Fodder. I’m sure nothing will go wrong here.” But even as old as this movie is, gods is it refreshing to have a cast we actually root for instead of a collection of unlikable assholes you WANT to die. You actually feel for the characters as they go through all this horrific shit; all done with effects that are creepy in some parts, and ‘pause the movie because you’re laughing so hard’ parts. If done with skill, I wouldn’t mind seeing this movie remade with updated effects! As it is, I’m half tempted to watch it a few times just because it was so much fun. This movie BEGS to be watched with a bunch of friends and booze if you got it.

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Finally Watched It: Whiplash (2014)

 

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“A promising young drummer enrolls at a cut-throat music conservatory where his dreams of greatness are mentored by an instructor who will stop at nothing to realize a student’s potential.” is an tragically simplistic way to describe the ride that is this movie. In yet another instance of people flipping out that I’d never even heard of this movie, I finally grabbed this from my library and I was floored.

Despite the main character being a total dick, I absolutely love this movie. I found it hypnotic in a way and I’m not even that into Jazz music. If you’re sensitive about long stretches of racial and homophobic slurs and taunts, you may want to avoid this movie but it’s amazing and worth putting up with it if such things turn you off.

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Finally Watched It: Ringu

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As if this even needs a summary, this is the original Japanese movie about a woman who is investigating a cursed videotape that kills you a week after you’ve watched it.

This movie is damn creepy. It may not have aged very well in some ways but, yikes. There were plenty of moments that freaked me out. And it certainly made me feel old because heck, who has video tapes anymore?

Now that I’ve seen the original, I actually find the remake to be on par with it. They’re both creepy, both have this great tone and lingering uneasiness. I can’t say definitively one is better than the other. I like them both. It’s a shame it took me so long to get to watch this one.

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Finally Watched It: Felidae (1994)

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This movie tells the story of a cat named Francis investigating a string of cat murders in his new neighborhood.

This movie absolutely has a “what the fuck just happened” sort of vibe. The animation style is wonderful and the entire thing is a testament to how animated stories can and SHOULD be used to tell stories to children AND adults. There’s graphic murder, sex, blood, and a fucking CULT. But its all cats!

This is a short watch, only about an hour and twenty minutes and is a German movie; even though I watched it with the English dub and found the voice acting to be pretty good. It reminded me of The Great Mouse Detective. It is also based on a book, which is on my list of things to read, and even though it’s demented and kinda predictable, it’s a cool movie! Just don’t let your kids watch it. It’s more adult than Watership Down and has just as much nightmare fuel.

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