End of Summer and Why I Shun Playdates

Ahh, the joy of back to school. I am blessed that my child is at the age where she’s excited to go back to school because she gets to see all of her friends again. To be honest, she hasn’t seen much of her friends over the summer. Partly because they’re busy too and partly because I shun playdates like a mofo.

Why? Am I some sort of antisocial malcontent who hates spending time with other people?

Well, partly. >D Give me a good book and a glass of wine any night but that’s not why the demon seed hasn’t seen much of her friends in a setting outside of camp or the daycare.

Reason #1 is that I’m a single working mother. I don’t have a lot of time to be schlepping my kid all over creation just to see her friends. A lot of her friends mom’s work at home or part time so it’s not easy when I get out of work when our respective offspring should be eating dinner already.

Reason #2 is (and this is the most important) is that I’m a single working mother. What little spare time I have I want to spend it with my kid! Sorry to disappoint fellow parents but I don’t think real quality time is spent running errands and doing chores. It’s awesome that your kid wants to play with my kid but aside from rushing her to eat, get clean, get to whoever’s watching her, rushing home, rush to eat, get clean, and get to sleep, I’d like to play with her!  Damnit, I made her so I should get first dibs!

So, with the first Saturday I’m not working looming ahead and about a dozen or so invites from various parents to come see them on Labor Day weekend, I have holed up like a crazy person hiding from the Black Plague. It’s MY weekend, for gods’ sakes; the LAST weekend. And I aim to make it count. 😉

You all can play with her when I’m done with her.

 

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Happy Mother’s Day!

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Happy “All I Really Want As A Gift Is A Nap” Day to my fellow mom’s! 😀 My kid (and by proxy her father) got me these lovely gifts. The card has a recorded (slightly garbled) message from the kiddo saying how she’ll love me forever no matter where I am; which is so sweet that I think it rotted out a tooth. 🙂

Today will be a (hopefully) fun filled day with my 2.5 foot reason for living on this earth. We’ll have lunch, walk around, and if she’s well behaved; she’ll get ice cream.

I can do without the high temperature but I sure am glad the weather is nice.

Mommy Monday and the glory of ONE

I am frequently asked “When are you gonna have another one?” when I am seen walking with my 5 year old daughter. Do I want one? Want is a strong word. Do I feel the biological pull of my uterus to create more offspring? Yes. But after this weekend when I took a road trip with my kid and my 8 year old niece to visit my mother in law in Pennsylvania, I was reminded why one can be more than enough.

I adore my niece but when the two of them get together, EVERYTHING is a pissing contest. And I see it with the other families around me as well. I can’t imagine throwing 2 or MORE kids in the back seat to spent 6 hours driving, keeping them all entertained (we don’t have a DVD player in the car so books, books, and more books), fed, and clean for the duration of the trip. For me, it’s hard enough with just the one!

Now I understand why I’m an only child. XD

This is not to say if I found myself suddenly pregnant again, I wouldn’t keep it, but in a perfect world, one is good. I still have so much I want to do with my own life that I can’t imagine putting it off any longer. Best to be happy with the one healthy, happy kid I’ve got. 🙂

Mommy Monday – Lazy family update

This weekend was just me and the kiddo. It was kinda surreal to be honest. o_o The Hubbz went to visit his mother out of state to see how she’s doing. The news on that front is she’s dong as well as she can with stage 3 lung cancer. We’ll be going to see her all together next weekend.

But, yes; an entire weekend alone with my kid was strange. But I learned some things:

1. Dominos online ordering? You are faster than I thought and thank you for saving my ass on the Friday night I worked late and forgot to defrost anything.

2. Kiddo loves cucumber rolls. Very awesome. XD

3. Not having a car was a pain but saved my ass because since regular errands took so long, me and kiddo had quality time during the walks.

Addendum to #3? Lugging 3 cases of bottled water in a shopping cart is a pain in the ass… =_=

4. One kid is enough to entertain. My decision to stop at one (if I can help it) was very, very wise.

But it was cool hanging out with just me and the munchkin. I got no writing done but still; a lot of fun. 😉

Let’s all share! Or not… Picking my battles.

I got a flyer in my kid’s folder inviting parents to come share their holiday traditions. I didn’t even have to read the whole thing in order to decide there was no way in hell I was doing that even if I was free from work to do so.

Why? This is why. And so is this.

I have no intention of turning my kid’s pre-k into a religious battle ground and making school miserable for her. Granted, in all likelihood, nothing would come of me going there and saying what the Solstice means to me but if I’m gonna throw down for my religion, it’s not gonna be there.

You may think me cowardly for not using this as a teaching opportunity or something like that, but I pick my battles carefully. When someone asks me what my pentacle means, I tell them exactly what it means. If another parent has a problem with me rolling up to the school with all my pentacles on, it’s on them, not me. I remove them for NO ONE. But it’s not MY school, it’s my daughter’s. I teach her my traditions but I feel it’s not the right place to get such a discussion started.

Mommy Monday – The woman I hope my daughter NEVER becomes

Image: David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I didn’t go to the last day of Comic Con to spend the day with my daughter. As no good deed goes unpunished, something had to come along and try to ruin it.

I took her to the local McDonald’s because while I loath the food (I feel my arteries being lined with evil) the nostalgia of the Halloween buckets was too much to resist. My husband dropped us off and got himself a coffee to take with him so we girls could hang out. While I sat with Penny waiting for the food, the cashier hit on my husband. No big deal, really. I’m not the jealous type and he certainly loved the ego boost. But he tells me the cashier’s response to “I’m married. That’s my wife and kid over there.” was “Her? But she looks older than you. And you’re so cuuuttee.”

The blow to my self-esteem aside, THIS is what I can’t fucking stand about women. This chick only said I looked old to make herself seem better in the eyes of a man she was obviously not going to get. Putting down the woman he loves is a sure fire way to make YOU look like a bitch, and rightly so.

Why can’t women play to their own strengths rather than put down another woman to make themselves feel better? I don’t want my daughter to feel like she’s going to burst into tears in public, never want to eat again, and want to buy diet pills she KNOWS don’t work just because someone who’s just as insecure as she is felt the need to open her yap.

Ma always said you should try to bring people UP, not put them down. I hope I can instill the same lesson to my daughter. I don’t want her to be on either side of this catastrophe.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some wrinkle cream to apply. >_<

What I learned from my kid’s back to school night

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1: Much like me, schools have no money.

The beginning of the meeting can be summed up like this: “Hi! Welcome to Important Person School. I am J. Q. Principle and can you please buy/donate/sell-so-we-can-have-money all this swag?  For the children?” Not that I don’t want to help children but I think I’m doing great by being employed so I can keep food in my daughter’s belly, clean clothes on her back, and gas in the sitter’s car (gotta pay HER too) so she can get to school in the first place. Not to mention I’m a bit bitter about having to buy SHARED supplies for the classroom. When I was a kid (shakes cane for emphasis) the school paid for glue and markers. That there was some fancy book lernin!

I’m sure we can have the meeting about what my kid is learning every day BEFORE you try to sell me things I don’t need or want.

2: I am a freak.

But I knew this so… Specifically, I got these sidelong looks when other parent’s saw I brought my daughter with me. What was I supposed to do? Make her wait in the car? People always comment on how well my daughter talks and how social she is and that’s because I take her with me EVERYWHERE. We don’t have much choice considering she’s not at the age where I can trust her home alone without drinking Drano or burning the house down. If there’s a meeting where BOTH parents wanna go, expect to see kids there.

3: My kid is fucking with me.

I always worried about how my daughter was behaving in school. Is she hitting other kids? Is she running around like a nut? Is she listening? Is her head spinning around and she’s going full Linda Blair on the teachers? So, given the opportunity, I ask the teachers if she’s being good in school.

Turns out she’s MORE than good. She’s fucking phenomenal. I had another kid’s parents come up to me to thank me because the boy comes home RAVING about how nice my daughter is to him. She’s so helpful in class and “has so much personality” (this was said with a smile so I’m taking that as a good thing) it took everything I had not to turn to her in front of them all and yell “WHY AREN’T YOU THAT GOOD AT HOME!!!

My theory is, she saves up all the evil tantrums for me like a cat saves the most disgusting dead thing to give you as a gift.

And finally…

4: I am a cynical, antisocial bitch.

I barely said two words I didn’t have to while I was there. I was so tired, hungry (because back to school night is of course at dinner time THROUGH bedtime) and rather would have been writing. This is not to say I didn’t like talking to the teacher or hearing about what my kid does all day but I am not like my husband (who is a fucking social butterfly handing out his phone number to all the shiny new people he’s met). I want to get in and get shit done. I would always rather be writing so that’s beside he point. XD

Here’s where I feel like a horrible mother because I’m not all up in the school’s buttcrack about every molecule my kid touches in her school. Is she doing well? Awesome. I don’t feel the need to buddy up to ALL the parents (who glare at me anyway). I feel like one of the Coneheads or something when I’m in a crowd with them. Right there is the cynical part. I expect them to be catty and horrid Stepford Wives trying to steal my brain.

There was also an eye roll I almost had an aneurism trying NOT to do when the co-presidents of the PTA were bragged about taking the time out to be co-presidents of the PTA while having 4 kids and working full time. Well, aren’t you a special snowflake! Between my ONE kid, full time job, writing, and the overtime I scrape together by the skin of my teeth, AND doing an assload of housework, NO, I will NOT be giving time to the PTA. I’m lucky I have time to read a book to my kid and I would rather be doing THAT than talking to them.

I suppose I should be more positive about the whole thing. My daughter’s teacher is really nice and pleased with how she’s performing in class. My husband made some friends and spent some good money on stuff for the school to use on… Whatever they need to use it for. I did not curse anyone out, learned some interesting things about child development, and my daughter gave me the most adorable tour of her classroom ever in life evar. Happiness all around, right? XD