Movie Review – “Vampire Girl vs Frankeinstein Girl”

If you follow me on Twitter, you already have some inkling of what my thoughts were on this movie. For a more sober take on it, I present this review.

Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl” is a river of WTF leading to OMFG Ocean. Buckets of corn syrup blood are spilled and not a fuck is given as to plot or sense. This is not to say I didn’t enjoy this movie but I spent a great deal of the time either wishing I was more drunk or completely sober in order to deal with what I was seeing. Eventually, about the time the evil scientist man in full kabuki dress began a montage of dissecting his victim and Over-sexed Nurse was dancing with the parts, I just sorta went with it. I left my brain to the tender mercies of this movie and have come away with brain soup. @_@ The movie is pure horror cheese so it’s good that I had a bottle of wine to go with it.

To be honest, I don’t know if I should warn you all away from this movie or tell all you (ADULTS) to run out and watch it because it’s just so insane. I suppose it’s a case of caveat emptor (if you buy it instead of borrowing it from a library like I did). This movie is batshit crazy and refuses to apologize for it. So, don’t you all come whining to me that the movie broke your brain or completely disgusted you. You were warned.

So ya wanna be a librarian? (this is gross, consider yourself warned)

Image: digitalart /

You wake up one day and think “Hey! I like books, I like reading, I like research, and I tolerate like helping people! I should TOTALLY become a librarian! Nothing gross could possibly happen there!”

You. Are. SO. Wrong.

While working the desk, I hear this retching sound. Turns out this guy was throwing up blood in one of the stacks. He RUNS out, leaving the mess – and his hat – behind. I go and see the damage and put a chair over it so nobody can step on it before the custodian gets the flamethrower cleaning materials. The guy comes BACK in, puts the chair BACK at the table, puts his hat BACK on, AND PUTS THE BOOK HE BARFED BLOOD ON BACK ON THE SHELF. I find it dribbling onto the metal shelf (thankfully not onto any other books). I take a bunch of tissues and nudge the thing back onto the floor and put the chair back over the entire mess.

What gets be about this is be didn’t say a damn thing. If people haddn’t heard him throwing up, nobody would have known.

This is not when I signed up for when I went for my MLS. XD

Currently, I smell like the inside of a hand sanitizer bottle and I STILL feel soiled. I feel like I wanna shower in bleach. Bring on the drunk tranny anytime who calls me a Cracker anytime. She’s much easier to deal with. >_<