added stress, body, body image, body love, christina hendricks, food, goddess, goddess figure, health, healthy-living, obesity, pagan, pagan blog project, paganism, pagans, poor self image, rage comics, strength, weight, weight loss
It is with a great sigh and rolling of eyes that you read my heading, I am sure. This topic has been done but far be it from me to let it pass without me adding my two cents.
Hey there. My name is Lenni. I am 5’7″ and weigh about 200 pounds. I say “about” because depending on what time of the month it is, I can go down to 195 or up to 210. At my last physical, my blood pressure and cholesterol were at normal levels. My knees are shot so I can’t run a 4 minute mile, but I can power walk it in 15. I can lift and carry my 40 pound child with out straining. I typically workout 30 minutes 4 days a week in various ways but not because I want to lose weight, it’s because I enjoy it (and I don’t drive yet so I walk everywhere).
Why the stats? Because people hear my height and weight and assume I am fat, lazy, unhealthy. Quite the contrary, I am an active healthy human being who just happens to not be a size 2. Most of the time, I am happy with myself. It’s taken years of hard thought to get rid of the poor self image instilled in me from puberty when all of a sudden, I developed all these curves I didn’t know what do to with.
Not to sound crude but I sure as hell know what to do with them now!
I wish I’d had more role models like Mrs. Hendricks up there when I was growing up. I could have avoided a lot of the anguish. Being 13 is hard enough without the added stress of being overweight. Not that kids need an excuse to make fun of you (I was oinked at… I am not even kidding) but that pain never really goes away. I have tried every diet, every diet pill, every shake, powder, and gimmick you can name. I even dabbled in anorexia. But not bulimia because I don’t like the feeling of throwing up and I believe I would be just wasting good food.
I say, fuck that noise! I sat back and thought “I cannot believe the words ‘dabble in anorexia’ came out of my mouth!” What the bloody hell was I thinking?! Would I be able to rock the hell out to Zumba if I don’t eat? How am I supposed to chase my kid around if I don’t eat? And what kind of example am I setting for my daughter!? I never want her to think the things I thought… So, I will be totally honest with you, I eat whatever the fuck I want. And I like vegetables (my Ma was vegetarian so I’m used to large amounts of veggies). My favorite thing to eat is a huge salad with a can of tuna and diced onion. I have pizza or burgers as a treat and I usually make them myself (when I have time) because I can flavor them exactly the way I want. Do I make healthier choices? Yes; lean meats and whole wheat bread. I don’t pick them because they’re “diet food” I pick them because my body feels better.
You only get one shot in the shell you have. I choose to treat my body with respect by giving it the fuel it craves. Sometimes it’s a baby spinach salad and sometimes it’s a fat, juicy burger with fried onions and bacon. No excuses and no guilt. People can oink at me all they want because you know what? I’m better than that. And you are, too.