pagan blog project

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project ā€“ ā€œDā€ for “Dreams”

I don’t often remember my dreams but when I do, they are DOOSIES. Most of the time, they are working through the stress of the day. If I have a difficult time at work, my dreams sort out the stress. But every once in awhile, they are to prepare me.

Before my mother started to get very sick, I dreamed of my Granny. It may sound kooky but I really believe she came to me to prepare me for what was coming. She told me to be strong and enjoy the happy times because life ends so fast… And of course, Granny was right; a lesson I need to relearn now in dealing with both of their deaths. I need to learn to remember the good times with them and let some of my anger go.

I keep a written journal where I write my dreams down when they are like this (because dreams where I’m shopping and can’t decide what I want or need are pretty self explanatory). Every so often I get an idea for a story from my dreams, as well. I record whatever I can remember and build upon them at a later date.

I also dream in color; which is supposed to mean something fantastic.

Either way, I try to save them all and learn the lessons they are trying to teach me.

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “C” is for “Coven”

I have been tempted to join with a couple of witchy friends for a working but I have never wanted to join an existing coven. Like many Pagans, I wasn’t raised in the faith. Ma sent me to an African Methodist Episcopal church till I was old enough to say didn’t want to go anymore.

There was nothing in particular that turned me off to this church. Eventually we moved into a new neighborhood and I never found a new one. I was more comfortable being Christian alone than in a group. That feeling carried over when I discovered Wicca and late when I decided the more general label of Pagan suited me better.

As an introvert and a person diagnosed with alexithymia, I find I have a better experience with my religion on my own. Sometimes I think it would be cool to at least have someone to talk to but that’s why the interwebz exist. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “C” for Cartomancy

My mother, who said my being Pagan was cool as long as I didn’t “do anything to the cat,” is the one who bought me my first deck of tarot cards. Such things were a favored gift from others for awhile (till I begged people to stop giving them to me) but this deck was the first (and for awhile ONLY) deck to work for me.

In fact, cards are the only divination method to work for me at all. o_O I’ve tried runes, boards, scrying, but not the I-Ching because I heard it involves math and I have taken great pains in my life to avoid evil number wizardry whenever I can. šŸ˜‰

The way I do readings for myself (or anyone else if they ask me all pretty like) is by shuffling the cards and asking “What would be the outcome if ______?” And I use most frequently The Navigator’s Tarot of the Mystic Sea (the one my Ma bought me) and I lay them out in a three row spread which looks like an arrow. Each line is the past, present, and future.Ā  I’ve gotten some pretty good insights in things using this method and I like it because it tells me if I continue on the current path, this is what is most likely to happen. It’s changeable. I don’t desire to know the future, per se, I want to be warned if I’m about to step in a pothole.

The only other deck I use is the Dragon Tarot. I bought this deck because it mystically felt… Oh, because dragons are awesome. >D This deck also works for me (I have stopped buying decks now) and I use the same spread. I have a book of tarot spreads but the arrow formation works so I am the most familiar with that one.

As for which deck I use and when, it’s totally random. I think “Hey, it’d be nice to use the dragon one today.” Sometimes I do three card day readings but not all the time. Honestly, I’m lucky I leave the house on time most mornings so stopping to do a tarot reading isn’t… In the cards.

You know I had to make that joke once. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “B” for Body

Recently, I had a pretty skinny coworker of mine complain how fat she was getting now that she’s quit smoking. Even with her new-found “fat,” she is still small enough for one and a half of her equals me.

Aside for the inability for women (in general) to be happy with their bodies, I do get really pissed off when women half my size complain about how fat they are. As a size 14 with an hourglass figure, it makes me wonder what such women think when they see a woman bigger than they happy(ish) with how she looks.

I do watch my diet and exercise because I do have this beautiful size 12 dress I would love to wear one day, but on the whole, I feel pretty good about myself. I’ve heard plenty about how I should lose weight for my health because heaven fore-fend someone not be a size 4 and healthy. My blood pressure is spot on, cholesterol at healthy levels, and I have a pretty strong heart (only weakened by a childhood disease). I do workouts most of my skinny friends (male and female) can’t keep up with because it feels awesome to be strong.

Even when my body betrays me (I am sick right now, fighting off an ear infection and a cold) I believe my body is as the gods intended and I take pretty good care of it. šŸ™‚ It is, after all, just a loan. I’d like to return it in as good condition as They gave it to me. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “B” for “Bath”

For this week, I picked the topic of ritual baths.

With my New Year’s resolution to work out more, I’ve switched to working out in the daytime. I do some pretty intense workouts so I end up sweaty and gross, necessitating a shower before I go to work. But I still make time for my nightly shower and let me tell you why.

I use that nightly shower for more than just washing off book dust and makeup. I cleanse myself of the whole day. If any patrons were rude to me, if my kid threw a tantrum, if I got a paper cut; I wash all of it down the drain. I don’t take to long because water costs money but I get it all out so I can take a deep breath, kiss my child good night (no matter what she did to me that day), and get to sleep without rehashing all of it and having it keep me up all night. I sleep better, I don’t have library nightmares (yes, this has happened), and I all around just feel better.

If I happen to get in some altar time, then this is doubly important because I need to concentrate on what I’m doing. I wash away my distractions so I can be a better writer, too. Nothing gets the muse going like a nice hot shower. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “A” for “Aspirations”

I often see many Pagans talking very deeply about their practice; putting into words what I have only experienced in instinct and feelings. I usually end up feeling not Pagan ENOUGH to be qualified to post about how I feel, what I’m doing, what corresponds to what, etc. Which always begs the question: “What do I aspire to in being Pagan?”

I want to feel connected to the world and the energy within it. I want to fly without wings, I want to see magic in everything. I want something meaningful to turn to when times are tough and to celebrate when times are good. I want a group when I need it and solitude when I don’t. I aspire to spiritual freedom and peace. And that’s gonna have to be Pagan enough. šŸ™‚

 

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “A” for “Altar”

I’ve been Pagan for 13 years and it was only now that I was able to afford the altar of my dreams.

I purchased this altar from Dragonoak with the only extra requirement of a hasp on the side to be able to lock my kid out. šŸ˜‰ Everything on it was either a gift or inherited from Ma. My husband bought me the wand, my cousin bought me the offering bowl, and Ma’s bought the incense burners and the chalice. On the side there is a smaller table where I piled the books I am currently learning from and candles. ^_^

I think the best thing about having an altar now is being able to involve my child in my spiritual life. She walked in on me sitting in front of it for a New Years prayer and plunked herself down and asked if she could do it with me. Then she asked if we could pray for Gramma. Without any prompting from me, she says: “I pray in thanks to all I see, that I love Gramma and she loves me.”

That made me so happy, I nearly burst into tears. It also made her happy and if this is how she wants to deal with Gramma being gone, then I am all for it. She can pray anytime she wants, as long as I’m there with her. After all; there is glass on that altar. 0.0

atthequillsmercy

Getting started on 2012

In 2011, I sold about 2-3 books a month. This year, I’m hoping to double that.Ā  ^_^

I will also be starting the 100 book challenge and also adding the Pagan Blog Project. That’s at least two posts a week for my blogs (remember I am also at livejournal) in addition to the fun updates about how my writing is going. XD

Another goal I have for this year is to clean out as much clutter as I can. The garbage man is gonna hate meee… I plan to donate and sell very large amounts of extra clothes and collectables that are taking up space in this house. I’ve already taken care of our living room tossing a 40 year old dining set that was falling apart but my Mother refused to throw out. We’re hanging up pictures that previously were crammed into shelves and tossing out anything we haven’t used in 6 months.

My workout schedule is going well but I have to admit; if I don’t have work, I do NOT get up at 6am to be in the gym. I figure if I’m off, I can work out in the afternoon when my kid is at school. As long as I DO it, the time isn’t important.

My goal of 4 pages a day has not changed. Even with the new comic I’m working on, I’ll still make sure to get one short story out every month and Greenhouse will be done by the end of the year. I would like to have a store full of stories in all genres! šŸ˜€

I would also like to take one vacation with my whole family. I usually run away and leave them behind. While necessary for my sanity, some of my best memories are traveling somewhere cool with my family. It was harder when I was a kid because my Granny was in a wheelchair but we are blessedly all able bodied so other than time, there’s no reason not to go. šŸ™‚

I think that’s all the important stuff. Anything else you all think I should add?