paganism

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “N” for “New”

I have to admit, I’m not very good at trying new things. As evidenced by the posts I’ve been doing about the Birchbox, things have to be handed to me in order for me to reach out and try them. If it didn’t come in a neat little box every month, I would never try something new like this beauty balm (which I have finally stopped calling “That Stick Thing”).

There are a great many things in my life that I never would have tried if that new thing hadn’t been forced on me. Parenting is one of them. Every day is something new which, honestly, drives me a little nuts. There’s something in me that appreciates the safety of the regular, the hum drum. New things can be scary because of the element of the unexpected. Variables floating in the ether just waiting to go wrong keep me up at night. 0.0

I have to credit my husband with my recent change. I know it’s not very “Pagan” of me to come by the solution through taking a human being’s advice rather than hoursĀ  of meditation or scrying or something equally as magical. Trust me, listening to what he had to say and taking it to heart? That was magic. And it worked. I’m sleeping without my bite guard to protect my teeth from grinding for the first time in WEEKS.

So, try something new today. Feel free to remain in a certain comfort zone, but give it a shot. Worse comes to worse, you have a great story to tell. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “N” for “Name”

Like many other Pagans, I assigned myself a magical name. It is a name only to be used between you and your deities; perhaps within your coven. I agonized over what it should be and even had the initials tattooed on my back.

I’ll be straight up with you all, I barely use it. I don’t regret the tattoo and the name fits me but honestly, in my spiritual practice, my very being resonates with my identity. Names are not important. Like I mentioned before, my practice stripped to it’s purest form is all about intent.

So, I posit the question to my Pagan fans and readers of this blog, how does your magical name (if you have one) factor into your practice?

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Post – Double “M” for “Money” and “Magic”

To make up for missing last week, this is a combination post.

In my practice, I have noted that force of will is the driving force behind everything I do; including magic. I do this for two reasons:

1. I feel it imbues a certain passion into my work.
2. It’s CHEAP!!

Like many Pagans, I have piles of books and reams of printouts of spells and various concoctions I would love to try, but some of the ingredients are so fricking expensive, I feel like part of being a practicing Pagan Witch necessitates winning the lottery or being a full time gardener. The closest I’ve come is saving up enough to buy a relatively inexpensive collection of herbs on Ebay. And even “relatively inexpensive” had me grateful for any OT I could get at work to make up for the cost. >_<

I understand someone has to make these materials and they should of course be compensated for their time and effort. But when you’re talking to your deities, who ever they are, I don’t think they really care if your athame cost you $20 or $200 or if you even just use your finger. Magic can’t always be about having The Stuff. It’s from within; borne from your intent. Making an herbal sachet or mojo bag quite obviously requires physical items but don’t go crazy. We all know money doesn’t grow on trees so go out and hug one instead. XD

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “L” for “Live”

(image from here)

I will admit to you that I am not the type of person who wakes up thinking “My! What a glorious day! I must verily ponder ways in which to seize it!” I am more likely to wake up like this:

(from SIP but taken from this site)

Just driving to work is enough to put me on edge on some days. Between a full time job, my daughter, my husband, and my writing, it’s a wonder I am not covered in wrinkles with a full head of white hair.

Most of us can relate, I’m sure. You want to be the type of person who seizes every moment but we are lucky to have a moment to breathe. I say, take that moment. People around me may get annoyed or tease me when I will just stop and let loose a great heaving sigh but man, that’s the best sigh EVER. Better than running to get coffee, better than chocolate (yup, I said better than CHOCOLATE) because in that breath, I am aware of my being. I am present in the moment.

Then I can go back to calling every one idiots for tailgating and changing lanes with out a signal. >_< And for the love of all that’s holy, why can’t my kid pick up her frigging shoes!!

*sigh*

Much better. šŸ˜‰

Living is making the best of whatever you have and realizing that you may not have time for a 20 minute meditation every night or be able to take hour long walks whenever you want, but that second where you can stop, breathe, then continue. At least that’s what it is for me now. And it’s not so bad. šŸ™‚

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “K” for “Kitchen Witchery”

I absolutely believe when you prepare food (or anything) with your own hands, you impart some of your thoughts and energy into what is being prepared. Being a busy lady, I don’t have the time to impart such energy into every meal. Its usually Throw-Peanut-Butter-On-The-Bread-And-Get-The-Fuck-To-Work in the mornings and dinner is started right when I walk in the door from work. But on holidays like Samhain and Yule, I am very deliberate and careful with what I put into the meals I prepare. I reflect on what the sacred day means for me and my family and what I hope for the coming year.

I also do this when I prepare meals for any sick family members. You wouldn’t believe a simple can of chicken broth can be turned into a magical elixir for the ultimate destruction of the common cold, but with the love from her mama, my 4 year old believes it is. šŸ™‚

It’s also very therapeutic to be mindful of the preparation of your food. It’s comforting to be IN the moment, not dicing onions while screaming at someone or watching tv. It gives the mind focus and makes me much more aware of what I’m putting in my food.

Also? I hardly ever measure. I do everything by how the food smells, tastes, or feels. This is very annoying for people who taste my food and want to know how I made it. I just stare at them blankly and babble “Really, I have no idea.”

Because it’s magical. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “K” for “Knot Magic”

I’m not talking about the Witch’s Knot, I mean knitting and crochet. There is absolute magic in hand making an object stitch by stitch for someone you love.

When I found out I was pregnant (after freaking right the fuck out) I took up crochet again after years of hanging up the hook. My grandmother had taught me when I was 7 or so and I could think of no better way to relax myself and prepare for my little one than to make her a baby blanket. I worked on it my entire pregnancy, line by line, and made it big enough to use as a lapghan when she goes off to college. I still have the dress my grandmother made for me (she was an awesome seamstress) so if my kid still loves me when she’s an adult, I wanted to make something she would treasure.

As I worked, I found myself thinking of all I hoped for my child. I wanted her to be healthy, happy, smart, and strong. I wanted her to wrap herself in this garment and know that she’s loved by her mama even when her mama isn’t around. The result was, quite frankly, staggering. It’s her favorite blanket and not just because I lord over her saying “I bloody made this and you will USE IT!!” she picks it. And I have a healthy, happy, smart, and strong little girl who just loves the shit outta that blanket. >D

I’ve also made items for other people, like a scarf for my husband. Same effect. You channel your wishes into the hooks or needles into the yarn and it comes through in your finished project. It’s the entire concept of Prayer Shawls with a Pagan spin. I still make things (when I have time) and eventually I’ll have a shop section on my website so I can share what I make with others. There’s nothing like a great big ole hug of positive energy. šŸ™‚

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “J” for “Jinx”

I’ve had friends and acquaintances come to me believing they’ve been jinxed; believing their run of bad luck is supernatural in origin and hope their friendly neighborhood witch can to something about it. They fill me in on the situation and are frequently are disappointed when I tell them they’re not jinxed; they’re repeating bad behaviors and wondering why it all turns out shitty.

“Lenni, can you cast a spell for me?”

Sure! I can cast all freakin day but if you don’t study? Your grades won’t improve. Guy broke your heart again? Stop messing with him. Perpetually out of money? Stop over-shopping. Tired of being fat? Take a freaking walk.

Of course there are always mitigating circumstances but on the whole, it seems people will jump on the supernatural explanation rather than look within and see what the root of the problem is. It may not be all “witchy” and “pagany” but it works. I do believe in a little magical help but I always combine it with good ole fashion hard work. And who knows? The application of my will towards change may be the transformative magic; not the spell. If not, it certainly can’t be said I didn’t have all by bases covered. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “I” for “Initiation”

As a solitary, I am “self-initiated.” That’s pretty much the entire story. Pagans can (and have) sit around all day debating if that “counts” or not but you know what? Who cares? You walk the path, it’s what you are. So many churches squabble about little details, splinter off or try to annihilate each other. Do we really want to walk that line?

I did a formal ritual to initiate myself but I was practicing long before I did. Just like my marriage, I never felt I needed something “official” to declare my love to my husband or my gods. The paper’s nice and it comes with it’s perks, but without it, me and him would still be a loving couple and good parents. And I would still be a tree hugging, dirt worshiper. šŸ˜‰

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “I” for “Inspiration”

I guess I’m a bad Pagan in that I don’t have a super regular practice. I make up my rituals on the fly, communing with deity whenever I can in whatever manner seems best at the time. I do the same thing with my writing, rarely using a plan or an outline for my stories. I have a general idea and flesh it out as I go along.

Honestly, I feel this connects me more to my spirituality and my work than if I had a formal plan. The creation is visceral, like a lightening strike to my senses and it’s very invigorating. Nothing beats the sudden wave of words flying from my mouth or flooding through my soul. I truly believe nothing makes me feel more alive than the feeling of pure inspiration.

Sometimes, inspiration needs a kick in the pants. That’s why I enjoy feeding it with massive amounts of books, movies, anime, and comics. XD I’m not afraid of bad movies because that can be a great way to spur it on. The moment I mentally check out of a movie with the list of things I could have changed, I feel invigorated and justified in the time I spent watching it.

I also inadvertently serve as inspiration to others. Or so they tell me. It always shocks me when friends and family somehow believe I know anything about anything. XD But hey, if I am one of the things that inspire you? Go for it.

atthequillsmercy

Pagan Blog Project – “H” for “Healing”

In yet another lesson brought to me courtesy of that burn, I was inspired to talk about how interesting it is to watch my body go through the healing process. This is not about the healing magic so much as it’s about how healing itself is magic.

To see my body damaged is a little traumatic; all of a sudden there’s a charred mess where normal skin should be. But once the blisters started to come up and the pain went away, I got to see what my body is capable of. It was pretty awesome.

There’s something very primal about the need to pick and poke at it. Even if the feeling of the fluids sloshing inside is stomach churning the mere notion that a body filled with helpful and harmful germs can produce a sterile environment in which to grow new flesh under the damaged flash is remarkable. Slowly, over the passing week, the fluid either reabsorbed or steadily leaked out without me having to open it up. My body let me know when it was time to get rid of the junk by it just letting it go; all I had to do was keep up with a clean bandage.

Now, after all the dead skin has flaked away, I am left with a smooth, clean, pink scar. I look at it in awe of how horribly I’d mucked it up and my body just said “Alright, you dingus. Just sit back and let me handle this.” Usually, I trust my body to betray me; sending my period late/early, burping at inappropriate times, pimples, etc… But this time it came through for me. That’s the magic of nature.