I’m still working on C25k and making sure running is part of my routine. However, you are all aware that I’ve mentioned that I’ve been dealing with a long standing depressive episode, right? Well, fuck me with a rusty pineapple:
Seriously? Fucking SERIOUSLY?! I’ve had the dubious pleasure of dealing with debilitating gas, my ass turning into a rocket ship, the inability to eat a reasonably portioned meal and on top of that, THIS BULLSHIT?! I get to go from being depressed because I’m fat to being EXTRA depressed trying to fix the fact that I’m fat!!
Look, Imma be completely honest about my process with all of this. I dunno how many other blogs are out there writing about this shit but like when I was talking about those weird ass bubbles I was getting (still no solution to that either!) I’m noting all this in case any body is dealing with the same shit I am. You’re not alone, you’re not crazy, you sure as shit not weak, and keep talking to your doctor. On my next visit, I am absolutely going to bring this up; including the horrific urge to self harm – which I can count on one hand the times I have legitimately had that urge in my entire life that I can remember.
I won’t lie, getting back to running helps. I get the happy runner’s high from being active that tempers these side effects. I’m not going to rely too heavily on that, however. I would rather cut back on my dose again. Losing weight is hard enough…
Over the next few days, I’m going to ease back on my injections so I can get centered again. I may not lose weight as fast but that’s fine. I don’t have time for feeling like shit since I’m one unplanned repair from not being able to pay my mortgage.Â
