Life Stuff

atthequillsmercy

Happy Birthday to me!

I turned 45 today! And while I need February to enter slowly with its hands up to show me it’s not as much of a threat as January, I did treat myself to delicious food I haven’t had in a long time. After this, I’m doing a no-spend month while I recover financially from all the stuff going on with the house. If it’s not bills or groceries (or book covers, cause that’s an investment), I’m not buying it.

As for how 45 is going to go, I would like to get healthier. All the stress has been hell on my sleeping patterns, my skin, my weight… In a way, I’m almost glad I have a root canal tomorrow because I am going to make sure my body is taken care of from here on out. And it’s not to be skinny or whatever, it’s to age strong. One of my biggest fears is a lack of autonomy. Not that I want to climb Everest at 6o; I just want to be able to still be self-sufficient. Once the weather turns, I’ll be going outside more – even if fuckwits jeer at me when I run – drinking less booze, and I’m back on my Saxenda at the lowest dose. I’ll also be trying to update the blog more. It’s gonna be interesting, and I hope fulfilling over the next few months. Wish me luck!

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atthequillsmercy

WIP Wednesday: Am I Cursed?

I am at that point where I would love for shit to stop going wrong, but also like “That all you got? Bring it on, bitch.”

If you’ve been keeping up with my posts on Bluesky, things are just all bullshit right now. I had a leak in the basement, and by “leak”, I mean it sounded like water was POURING out onto the floor if I ran the washing machine. I called the emergency plumbers, who not only found that the main line in the house was backed up, but my water heater also had a slow leak, was rusted out at the bottom, and the venting failed at the top. Hadda get a replacement. And since there was water, I had to have a remediation team come in, and THEY discovered not only mold but asbestos. Come Monday, I head to work and hit a massive pothole. Popped the tire, ruined the rim, and my struts. Got a tow to the repair place, which also noticed a leaking oil pan and bad brakes.

Things are fixed now, but the plumber (they were SO nice) also noticed that most of the pipes are old and will need replacing. I can’t even think about that right now. Between the house and the car, I’m 10k more in debt. Those pipes will have to wait for their turn.

One upside to this was that being trapped for 5 hours at the repair shop gave me plenty of writing time until the battery on Shelley died. I named my Freewrite Traveler “Shelley.” Because I’m a big fucking nerd. Anyway, here are the numbers.

  • Smut: 14,118 words
  • Kinktober prompts: 112 words (Finished prompt 5 and published the 3rd prompt, meaning I’ve published 3 out of the completed 5 prompts)
  • Dewey: 15,699 words

I’ve also been catching up on my ARCs and reviews. Since prompt 5 is finished, I’ll spend some time editing that. Editing doesn’t take that long. All of these prompts hover around 3-5 pages (8.5/11). It’s just a matter of making sure the details are right, and I find as many typos as possible. I’ve put needlework and running aside for a bit. I’ll have to start fresh with that once all this repair stuff is done. Wish me luck! Apparently, I need it!

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atthequillsmercy

WIP Wednesday: This isn’t fair.

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When I tell you being in your 40’s is just a shitshow sometimes… Perimenopause and PMS just doesn’t feel fair. This fucking meat sack I’m in charge of needs to pick a struggle. I can’t sleep without meds, still have trouble staying asleep, then I want to sleep all day but can’t, and have to power through with espresso and Death Wish coffee. How I’ve managed to deal positively with the public at work, I will never know. It’s not fair that I can only be fully functional for 2 weeks out of the damn month.

Not to make any excuses, but October is a big month in this house. Not just because I’m a Pagan Witch and come alive in spooky season, it’s also time for Samhain/Halloween activities and NYCC. I’m gonna do my best and get these stories done. Here’s the word counts so far:

  • Smut: 13,131
  • Kinktober: 1,617 (Prompt 2 50% done)
  • Dewey: 14,145

Now things are really getting to the meat and potatoes of these. I’m kinda having fun with the Kinktober stuff. I can write about things I’ve never written before and push just a bit out of my comfort zone. Dewey I’m being careful with because I don’t want it to be too preachy. It’s going to be interesting to try and get something finished and edited this month but hey, I’ve been spending WAAAAYYY too much money supporting things I’m into (Knights of Guinevere, The Moon Woke Up, Hazbin Hotel, Elvira… Not to mention way too many Kickstarter’s I’ve backed) and it’s about time I put out some content that made me some sorely needed money.

And D2D now has a minimum payout sooooo, I need to hit that to make anything to pay any bills. Yay for me…

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atthequillsmercy

WIP Wednesday: Myyyy Eyyyyeezzzz

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I haven’t even watched Schitt’s Creek yet. Aside for anything Hazbin Hotel, The Good Place is what I’m fixated on right now. Honestly? I am honestly concerned about how much media input I am currently absorbing since I’ve already blown through my reading goal for the year on Goodreads and my ‘Watch Later’ playlists on multiple platforms are testing the limits of their respective sources. Did you know there are upper limits to those? I am totally the person to find those as I will add something that strikes my fancy in that moment and get back to it… Whenever. What that comes with it is what my eye doctor will fucking hate. I have clogged eye things somewhere (look, I am tired and canNOT even bother to give medical terminology) and I intermittently remember to do a hot eye mask to ease that discomfort. That means a hot compress for 20+ minutes twice daily to avoid surgery… Something I remember to do 30+ minutes a couple times a week because the thought of sharp objects near my eye are terrifying. But this isn’t a trauma dump. You’re here for the word counts.

  • Dewey: 14,079
  • Smut: 10,234

I am also 12 prompts deep into Kinktober. And while I’ve been very loosely outlining them, I will be starting the writing process for those this week. As someone trapped between Gen-X and Millennials I… Don’t like to work on 9/11. I just don’t. I like to powerfully dissociate from my trauma instead! Perfectly healthy. Not an odd coping mechanism at all… And I’m not gonna lie, I started Dewey with the best of subversive intentions but there are times it just feels too fucking real. It’s hard to work on. I’m gonna power through because it’s important.

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atthequillsmercy

WIP Wednesday: I think we’re back?

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After my Saxenda break, I think my brain is firing on all cylinders again. I’ve been steadily working on both projects; including reading through them and realizing what needs to be cleaned up. And also making name charts. Because man, I can get indecisive with names or forget them outright. That’s gonna be fun to edit later… Anyways, on to the word counts:

  • Smut: 7,802
  • Dewey: 13,947

I’m writing this in the late afternoon so, those counts will change. I’m working on getting more reviews posted, running, prepping for NYCC, and also working on my yarn stash so, there’s not the most impressive increase in numbers. I’m also working on a series of prompts for “Kinktober” that are more for for artists than writers but some of the prompts were interesting enough for me to want to try them out. Maybe I’ll get inspired by one of them that will turn out not to be smut, you never know. Even the one I’m working now is turning out longer than I’d thought. I try to keep them under 3k-5k words.

Hopefully, now that I’m back in a proper flow, the next time I update will have a bigger increase.

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atthequillsmercy

WIP Wednesday!

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I know, I’m shit at regular writing updates. But now that I’ve gotten my brain back from the Saxenda (I’m back on it, but at a much lower dose), it has been so much easier for me to think. I’ve also taken on the project of cleaning out my Google Drive (it was at 79% full) by printing out the writing prompts and little bits of inspiration I’ve collected over the years and putting them in a binder. This way if I ever have a block or can’t decide what to work on next, I can flip through it or blindly pick a random page and use that for a new project.

Anyways, here are the word counts as of this morning:

  • Smut: 7,453
  • Dewey: 12,548

I’ve probably said this already, but Book 4 of First Brood is on indefinite hiatus until I’m making more money with other things. I am one unexpected expense from not being able to pay the mortgage. I gotta do what I gotta do.

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atthequillsmercy

Flame Con 2025

I’ve already posted a bit of my experience this year over at O&G (I should be posting there more often…), but I figured I’d talk about it a bit here, too. I can’t believe in the year of our Lord and Lady 2025, I feel the need to attend panels about fighting fascism, but here we are. It did get me thinking about digitizing some old stuff, like union pamphlets from back when my grandmother was fighting for the garment workers and old articles about her. We do need to preserve whatever we can; especially in the age of companies not bothering with physical media, claiming the rights to your digital media whenever they want (so you paid for it but don’t own it), or letting legacy media just die under the weight of relentless drive towards newer technology. But let’s not be a complete downer and take a look at what I brought home.

I had a lot of fun picking out random things to get and everything in that first picture is signed! I can’t tell you how much I nerd out about being able to get my stuff signed by the creator. Speaking of which:

I waited YEARS to get volume 5 of Starfighter simply because at a previous Flame Con, I’d gotten the first 4 and they were signed. I was tempted to just buy it online, but as they were generous to give me a press pass this year and Hamletmachine was going to be there, I was stoked to complete my collection. I probably embarrassed myself by squealing like an idiot, but I’m just some nobody, so she won’t remember.

I’m excited to dig into these and maybe review them for the blog. We’ll see. Sometimes I just like to read something and sit with it, but if there’s something here you want me to dive into, let me know.

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atthequillsmercy

“Today’s” Workout: There’s clearly a problem

I honestly couldn’t tell you what the hell is going on with my Zombies Run app but I have made so many stride length adjustments since the last couple updates to the app and it just will not count my steps unless I’m shaking the phone like a damn maracca. I have my watch as a backup which shows the real step count, pace, and distance but the stats in ZR used to matter to me in terms of seeing my improvements or lack thereof. Now it’s all gone to shit. The 5k trainer within the app is great. I find it really encouraging. The intervals are different from Just Run which gives me some variety to make sure my body doesn’t get used to things and has a challenge. Every other app is tracking my steps just fine but I don’t know what is up with Zombies Run and my lazy googling hasn’t uncovered any other people having this issue. I’m trying for a 90 day workout challenge to try and burn off these last few pounds before NYCC and while this isn’t helping, it’s not hindering me either. I’m moving and that’s what counts. Any other day I’m not running, I’m on the desk bike or desk peddler.

My food has been interesting since I’ve been having my fingernails detach again. I’m doubling up on my multivitamins and switching some other things up. That salad is basically what I had in that croissant sandwich but in a salad without the bread. Those wasabi almonds are fantastic while I’m feeling peckish and I’ve been making progress on cleaning out the deep freezer/fridge by making things like that huge ass lamb leg. I baked it with potatoes and vegetables, then portioned it out for the week. I hate having to use the oven in the summer but, this stuff needs to be cooked and eaten. It’s all part of the big clean-out I’m doing of the whole house. If I can’t eat it, wear it, use it, or sell it, it’s going in the trash. Hopefully, I’ll sell enough stuff that I can give the sanitation workers a HUGE tip this year. They fucking deserve it considering what I’ve put them through.

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atthequillsmercy

Writing Update: New Cover

The help desk didn’t get back to me about being able to edit the old cover so now the first part of Fruit of the Dead has a new cover. I was hoping that each season would have a different cover but ah well. In terms of problems, this isn’t a big deal. Now, as for the word counts:

  • FotD S1E3: 2443 but I’m not happy with how it flows so this may change
  • Dewey: 10,441 and I’m posting this in the middle of the day ,and I bet I’ll end up with more later

Also, due to a lovely surprise $4,000 bill that I didn’t think I needed to pay, I will be putting more time into my S00PER SEEKRIT smutty pen name because as much as I love to write fantasy, the smut is what makes me any money at all every month. I will do my best to ensure this does not delay my progress on my non-smut projects.

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atthequillsmercy

Weekly writing updates? Let’s try.

I have been working on three projects right now so, let’s do a quick status update:

  1. First Brood 4: Emma – 16823 words
  2. Dewey – 9300 words
  3. Fruit of the Dead S1E3 – 223 words

Fruit of the Dead should cap at about 3000 words. I’d like to keep each installment short as I build the story. No clue how long the others will end up. I tend to bounce between these three. I may be working on one then have a brain wave for another one and I just go with it. Hopefully FotD will be finished this month but, we’ll see. I may hit my stride with the others so, I’m not making any promises. If you’d like a teaser for the first two, check out my Patreon. The first chapters are posted there for free.

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